Aami Naari!

Me, Mumbai & Matrimony!! #findingMr.Right

Me, Mumbai & Matrimony!!

All I needed was a cup of coffee to find you!! Really? Was that all? Naahh, not quite!

I walked into the city of dreams on 31st May, 2013. I was in the city for a six month project. Despite not having any friends here, this it felt like home. Having experienced life in other major cities like Delhi, Kolkata and Pune, it was only in Mumbai where I felt safe and comfortable. Needless to say, I wanted to stay back and pursue my career here. 

Everything was going as per plan till my mom realized that I will be turning 30 shortly.

Needless to say, like any other Indian parent, she started following up for that dreaded ‘M’ word, Marriage. I had no intention to get into the matrimony debate. I wished to live independently then. Irrespective of how much the matter was avoided, the dreaded marriage talk was raised at every possible opportunity. I also had my fair share of flings, affairs and I reached a conclusion 'Marriage and me, naaahhh not yet'.

However under intense family pressure, I had no option but to board the Matrimonial local (slow train). During this epic journey I came across 'characters' who have left an impression on me. Some good, some not so great!

Read on to know more. I am sure every girl who boarded the 'matrimonial' train would have encountered these special characters at some point during their journey. 

The Brand Conscious

First up, you will meet prospective grooms introducing themselves with the ‘brand’ they are working with (Whatever happened to the surname). “Hi, I am Mr. Blah working with XYZ  Brand”. Wonder what their parents think about this act? Are they afraid to reveal their surname? Your guess is as good as mine! But does any girl consciously look out for the brand? May be a few….

The Desperado

Gosh! These ones are really tough to deal with. Watch out for them! I had an encounter with someone from this tribe. As luck would have it, this chap wanted to meet me at a café, a couple of hours after coming across my matrimonial profile. But me being me, I did not wish to take it further. However ‘Mr Desperado’ wasn’t in the mood to take a ‘NO’ for an answer. So strong were his follow up skills that he insisted on talking to my mother, if I did not have the time to meet him.

The Commitment Phobic

This one started with messaging on matrimonial inbox. It moved on to calls and then to regular WhatsApp chat. It was a lot of fun talking to him. I started developing a soft corner for this guy. He was spontaneous, fun and cool! We used to share selfies, share whereabouts and a lot more! However when it came to talking about future and taking the friendship forward, he was uncertain. Unfortunately, he was not the last from this tribe. Thank God I decided not pursue them.

The Mumma’s boy

 Well, this was an ‘extraordinary’ character. It started with Gtalk chats. Surprise, surprise! Despite sharing my phone number, we never spoke over a call. We generally used to chat after dinner; it was like lullaby to fall asleep. I realized soon enough that this isn’t going anywhere. I wished to get a closure before moving on. So I decided to mail him on the way forward. He replied, stating that his “Mom” may not like my overtly, outgoing attitude. Enough was enough!

The stalker

In the age of the digital world be very wary of this type! A self-proclaimed film director approached me online.  My issue was not with his profession. My issue was the fact that he wanted to control my life (in his words, take ‘permission’ before doing anything). I have no idea how people think they can monitor someone else’s life. He was a disgusting stalker and started getting abusive with every passing day. I have never come across such a psycho in my life, before or after this phase.

The gentleman

While interacting with “Prospective Grooms” one will also come across a very unique species of guys. The ones who are nice, decent, polite to talk to, in other words the ‘perfect gentleman’! What’s the issue then? Well, they have become so attuned to being just a gentleman, they don’t know how to take the next step after showing interest. And you will not be able to even understand what are they upto! Better, you move on.

The gold digger

I just have to call them this, and I am sure many girls still encounter such “Men” in their day to day activities. Unfortunately in a world where ‘packaging’ matters the most, such ‘well to do’, ‘educated’, ‘successful’ individuals are also on the lookout for dowry. What makes it worse; they are not ashamed of asking for it directly or indirectly. I found a guy with similar interests. However when we met, I was shocked when he really asked for dowry politely. I was left wondering if he wanted to take a voluntary retirement and become a house husband

Finally, the one!

On an exceptionally monotonous phase of my life I got the notification in my inbox and decided to meet at ‘our’ favorite place in Mumbai, Marine Drive. The excitement began with the first conversation and it hasn’t stopped till date.

A fairy-tale relation is not to  be with someone who loves you but to have someone who can partner in crime in every mad activity that we undertake.

The Darkest morning

Episode 3 

28th January, 1991 woke up with probably the darkest morning of the her lifetime. The night before Arindam felt a little chest pain and he rushed to the hospital. Those were the days when phone was not really introduced to middle class families in tier 2 cities. Well it was worse than tier 2. There was only one hospital in and around the place. He woke up in the middle of the night and knocked his colleague/friend who use to put up next door. They both reached the hospital in the middle of the night and the on duty nurse suggested to get admitted at the hospital. Arindam was in pain and all he needed was relief. The nurse got busy calling the doctors who were supposed to be at the hospital for their emergency duty.

It was freezing cold and the doctors were at home and no one could be reached over the phone. It was in 1991 when that small village did not even have STD connection. Arindam kept fighting with his pain and did not give up. But he had no idea that was not fighting with pain it was death who was wearing a mask of pain and was fighting with him. Although he fought hard but could not manage to win the battle. At around 3 or 4 in the morning he gave up.

Ishani on seeing her husband who was lying on the hospital bed was shattered. She had no strength to remove the cover from his face… she could not believe that she saw him for the last time when he left for hospital.

It was indeed the darkest morning which brought tsunami of heartache and pain in Ishani’s life. Her dream of a family was broken into pieces and causing extreme pain. It was like something is stuck in her throat and she is unable to swallow the facts of life. When her daughter saw everyone being sad and broken then she did not even know what death means. For her it was a day when she was not allowed to play with her friends. Ishani was now all alone on the path of long life ahead.

Life does not wait or stop for anyone to get up or get dragged with situation, it goes on as per its own flow. Ishani also did not get a chance to think or plan her life but to walk ahead and move on. From a pampered daughter to a beloved wife which finally dumped her with truck load responsibilities of life and her young daughter.

HumTum

Woh subah hui thi

Tere ahaat ke ujalo me,

Morning coffee thi mehki

Tere dosti ke khayalo me…

Mili jo nazre pehli baar

Hua yeh dil mera ghayal yaar.

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Tu leke gaya mujhe pehli date pe.

Selfies liye humne saath saath

Ishq ladaye leke haatho me haath

Long drives to roz roz hi jaane lage

Dheere dheere hum kareeb aane lage

Soch liya hum ne rehna hai ab together

Tu – main aur apna love forever.