The Darkest morning

Episode 3 

28th January, 1991 woke up with probably the darkest morning of the her lifetime. The night before Arindam felt a little chest pain and he rushed to the hospital. Those were the days when phone was not really introduced to middle class families in tier 2 cities. Well it was worse than tier 2. There was only one hospital in and around the place. He woke up in the middle of the night and knocked his colleague/friend who use to put up next door. They both reached the hospital in the middle of the night and the on duty nurse suggested to get admitted at the hospital. Arindam was in pain and all he needed was relief. The nurse got busy calling the doctors who were supposed to be at the hospital for their emergency duty.

It was freezing cold and the doctors were at home and no one could be reached over the phone. It was in 1991 when that small village did not even have STD connection. Arindam kept fighting with his pain and did not give up. But he had no idea that was not fighting with pain it was death who was wearing a mask of pain and was fighting with him. Although he fought hard but could not manage to win the battle. At around 3 or 4 in the morning he gave up.

Ishani on seeing her husband who was lying on the hospital bed was shattered. She had no strength to remove the cover from his face… she could not believe that she saw him for the last time when he left for hospital.

It was indeed the darkest morning which brought tsunami of heartache and pain in Ishani’s life. Her dream of a family was broken into pieces and causing extreme pain. It was like something is stuck in her throat and she is unable to swallow the facts of life. When her daughter saw everyone being sad and broken then she did not even know what death means. For her it was a day when she was not allowed to play with her friends. Ishani was now all alone on the path of long life ahead.

Life does not wait or stop for anyone to get up or get dragged with situation, it goes on as per its own flow. Ishani also did not get a chance to think or plan her life but to walk ahead and move on. From a pampered daughter to a beloved wife which finally dumped her with truck load responsibilities of life and her young daughter.

HumTum

Woh subah hui thi

Tere ahaat ke ujalo me,

Morning coffee thi mehki

Tere dosti ke khayalo me…

Mili jo nazre pehli baar

Hua yeh dil mera ghayal yaar.

Add kiya tujhe Facebook pe

Tu leke gaya mujhe pehli date pe.

Selfies liye humne saath saath

Ishq ladaye leke haatho me haath

Long drives to roz roz hi jaane lage

Dheere dheere hum kareeb aane lage

Soch liya hum ne rehna hai ab together

Tu – main aur apna love forever.

The GANG in GANGTOK

Memories are like box of sweets…. You must have heard of this filmy dialogue in recent bollywood movie YJHD. But let me tell you good memories are like the aroma of a mug of hot coffee during a rainy day… or may be the smell of unknown flowers when you walk through a dense green jungle to find the most colorful butterflies…

So this is how I started walking through the memory lane and found the beautiful trip photo album and revisited it all over again.

Yes… it was the Gang of our frolleagues (Colleagues who become friends :-p). We had been looking forward to an outing for at least 4-5 months since we had crazily busy time at work. Then I used to work for an event agency and we had work even during Durga Puja, Diwali, Christmas, New Year and My Birthday…. Can you imagine !!

Well that's how it goes; we are event managers.

I enjoyed every bit of the excitement during these crazy events. Learnt a lot of things, made new friends, understood a lot about patience and a lot more. Anyways after all these back to back event there was a little breather in the month of May and finally our HQ asked us to plan for a trip to Gangtok. It started from collecting the ID proofs for railway ticket reservation to booking hotel and planning detailed trip. 6 -8 from our branch were to go but finally count was 5. So it was our boss and 4 of us from branch. Me, KD, Bis and Niv. We were to travel and spend next 5 days together first time without work.

The journey began at Sealdah station in the city of joy. We were to board the train in evening Kanchanjunga Express. We were going crazy photos, selfies and unlimited silly jokes. It was almost dinner time and we were counting hours to reach the destination. Most of the time we don't realize that more that reaching the destination the journey becomes most memorable. We had stocked up a lot of munching snack, cold drink (only soft drink) and smokes. We were as if reliving college days during the journey; we played antakshari, ludo, cards and a lot of gossip. We then plan to sleep for few hours and in some time we reached New Jalpaiguri station. Unlike any metro city this was slow, calm and welcomed us with lovely rains there.

Bengalis just cannot do without tea so without breaking the trend we were also looking for a local tea stall and had our morning tea there. Our next travel was by road so the vehicle reached there to pick up. Now another beautiful journey started…. We were all feeling tired and thought of taking nap in the car. But when we left the station and took to road to Gangtok we just could not sleep. Mesmerising greenery, unknown birds’ chirping and clean roads via NH 10 we crossed local bus stops, unknown beautiful villages, the beautiful Teesta river, mountains …. Seemed like a wonderland.

We reached the hotel by afternoon and we checked in. Amazing weather welcomed us here as well. It was little cold but we decided to take a quick shower and lunch before going for sight seeing. The water was so chilling that even to gargle we went mad.

Then we finished our food and left for the sightseeing. Started with a park, then to monastery and local shopping. The plan was bigger for next day so we all came back to hotel after our short sight seeing. Now comes the time for party, although we all had plans to leave for Nathula pass but we all wanted to have a break free party that night. We played music, danced, boozed and smoked till midnight. The view from the window was just black, only thing we could hear is rain. The rooms were very big in the hotel and we were partying at Bis‘s room. It so dark outside, and so damn quiet that we were shit  scared to go to our rooms to sleep. The next morning 6 o’clock the cab was to report and we all girls slept in the same room.

Journey started next morning… nature’s beauty is like a bliss and were experiencing it live. There were waterfalls one after the other, mountains, snow and a lot of thrill. One side of the of road were  tall mountains and the other side death traps. We were driving through the narrow roads to the Nathula Pass. the closer we were to the hills the more it was getting beautiful. Snow and mountain ranges were looking like crushed Oreo biscuits. We stopped at a spot where we hired jackets and shoes to beat the chilling wind and snow. I was experiencing snow for the first time there. It is just not possible to explain the thrill the adrenaline rush that we were probably enjoying then. We played in the snow like little kids. The driver kept calling us to go back but still we kept playing there for an hour or so. It was very cold, there was no village, no greenery …. nothing. Only the camps of army who are there to protect us. On the way back we all were tired, mesmerized and speechless at the beauty of the place and the sacrifice of the soldiers. Although there are so many difficulties for survival but the local people were so warm, lively and cheerful that we enjoyed every bit of the trip.

Now it was time for some shopping for friends, family from M G Road in Gangtok. This is such a lovely cute market that I still plan to go there again.

We may not probably keep in touch with our friends regularly by talking over a call or email but such photo albums hiding in our D or E drive as magic lamps. We just need to do click click to bring back the moments of love, life …. and laughter.

प्यार !

Turns & twists

 Episode 2

Turns & twists: Life had just taken a turn for them. It’s a complete family now. I mean what else anyone wants in life. A settled job, good salary and  a sweet little family.

Things were going really well and time was flying high. Each day was like fairy tale. Yes this is what the girl had planned since childhood, and she was living her perfect life. The small little angel started talking, walking and school too. Although things were smooth here but life always supposed to take a turn.

Change is permanent. The home never seemed as home to her, daily issues, arguments made her feel sick but still for the happiness of her husband she tried making everything beautiful for everyone.  The little girl now started to going to school and here comes a very special day, her first performance for a stage show. The excitement did not really turn out to be a pleasant one. The guy who had been planning to see his little daughter performing on stage that did not happen.

It was the last day of his journey of life. He felt a little chest pain at night, walked down to the near hospital to see a doctor. Then people did not even have a concept for mobile phones. Next morning the wife thought of visiting the hospital and see him since he did not come back at night. He could not witness his angel’s performance. One incident and everything shattered. The dreamer is now all alone to face the world. The moment she arrived in the hospital found no one around, kept looking for some staff and finally a nurse showed her the direction to the room. Till she entered inside the room she was a married girl, a lucky charm, but the moment she discovered a body lying on the bed instead of her husband; the world turned upside down.

She infact already ironed the Saree that she was gonna wear during her daughter’s first stage performance. In fact kept the best shirt also ready for him. Everything was planned… since morning to the dinner menu post the show. But life can be cruel anytime, and does not even give damn to your plans.

Story of a DREAMER....

Episode 1
Dreamer…. she is a real dreamer. Started her journey from a small town… mmm we should call it a village rather.

May be I can start with the introduction like this; there is small place called Panchet.. A beautiful, modern girl, Ishani got married to a tall-dark-handsome guy, Arindam 35 years back. Yes pretty long time. Arindam is the eldest of the family, the most responsible and monument of sacrifices. The girl was asked by the boy’s family about her hobbies, on which Ishani’s father proudly said “amar meye ghurte valobase” (My daughter loves to travel). But meanwhile her father leaves the world so the marriage got delayed and finally, 30th June, 1980 they got married. Although Ishani loved to travel but the moment she reached a station named “Kumardhubi” where even there were no platform made till then she got disappointed. Being a modern girl of Kolkata city this seemed to her like a nothing but a village.

But still the journey starts. The communication was not easy those days, people were still postal service dependent, so the only source of her smile other than her husband’s love was the letters, the postcards sent from her parent’s house, be it her brothers or sister. She is now a part of new family, but was she really welcomed? No…. a big no. Why and what was the cause that could never be clarified although. Its the same old story of Indian families, parents house and in-laws house. Girls hardly understands where they belong actually!

Ishani was a part of a big family before marriage and here it was literally the same story but she was missing happiness, love and pamper she got at her parents house. Soon the situation went so bad that she had to go to her paternal house and on this Arindam decided to stay separate and maintain healthy relation with his family. So he went and got his wife back to a new house (though quarter by company).

Through thick and thin life moved on. They both enjoying a sweet bond, a happy married life. In a few years they discovered they are going to be parents. There were no limit to their happiness. Ishani wanted to share the news with her family in Kolkata, However the guy also wanted to share the new with his family, since they were a closer option so they went to greet them and shared the news.

Surprisingly she was not really appreciated in fact did not even receive a congratulation from her in-laws family. She never knew that they could be so difficult. She was upset at this behavior and wanted to go to Kolkata during her pregnancy and for childbirth. But unfortunately she had to cancel the plan and stayed at her in-law’s house.

She was anyways treated as an unwanted part of family now she was not alone. She was carrying one more life within. Time passed by, she had to be emotionally strong and finally during new year time she gave birth to a girl child.

Needless to say…. we are still in India so even after the happiness of newborn, there were still expectation for a baby boy. But the father was very happy to see his little princess, in fact in no time he was promoted. It was a double happiness time for him.

May be this is all he wanted all his life. Just love nothing else. Even though he was eldest he always had to fight his life alone. So for him his wife and newborn brought ocean of happiness.

to be cond.

নয়ন-সবুজ

Teenage just ছুয়েছিলো ওকে
ওর নাম নয়নতারা
চোখ  দুটো মায়া মাখানো
ঠিক যেমন পরীদের হয়  ।

ওদের পাড়ায় থাকতো
দামাল আর রকবাজ
পাড়ার ঠেকে বসে শুধু আড্ডা
ঠিক যেমন ছেলেরা হয় ।

ওদের পূর্বরাগের শুরু
দূর্গা পুজোর meeting -এ
কত planning কত কাজ আর
একটু আধটু romance
ঠিক যেমন সিনেমাতে হয় ।

তারপর college
ভালবাসা আরো জোরে ছুটতে শুরু করলো
highway ধরে
কেউ পারবেনা থামাতে আর

নয়নতারা করলো ডাক্তারি পাশ
সবুজ তখন rockband বানাবে
মাঝখানে কিছুদিন, কাটলো মলীন
ঠিক যেমন জীবনে হয় ।

Rockband টা ভালো চলেনি
সবুজকে আর facebook বা twitter এ দেখেনা নয়ন ।
এই নামেই তো ডাকত সবুজ ওকে
ঠিক যেমন ভালবাসাতে হয় ।

নয়ন থাকে এখন California
ডাক্তারি পড়ায় Standford -এ
সবুজ যদিও রাখে নয়্ননের সব খবর
ঠিক যেমন ভালবাসায় হয় ।

নয়ন আসবে কলকাতায়
ওর  একটা guest lecture আছে
nostalgia  আর একটা চিনচিনে pain
ঠিক জানা নেই এরম কেন হয়

দূর্গাপুজো এখনো হয় ওদের পাড়ায়
কত কত নয়ন আর সবুজ
এখন ভালবাসা অনেক আলাদা
ঠিক জানা নেই এরম কেন হয় ।

নয়ন-সবুজের ভালবাসা ছিলো
বৃষ্টির মত... refreshing !
শরতের রোদের মত পাগল করা
ঠিক যেমন আজ আর হয়না ।

নতুন তবুও জানলোনা, সবুজ কোথায়!
সবুজ হয়ত বলবেও না
নয়ন এখন NRI
অথচ সবুজের গলায় গান নেই
হয়ত এমনটাই reality তে হয় ।।
 

নতুন আমি

#holidayingoa

I was about hit the alarming age of 30 in one month, was extremely unhappy with the current job (actually the boss) and cherry on top was my singlehood. So whenever I wanted go on the social sites the only thing I witness my friends’ weddings and honeymoons and pregnancies.

What the fuck!! I did not know what was I doing. Working in a city like Mumbai, single and ready to mingle but bloody hell … no men in life. Whyyyyyyyy??

Well I knew the problem, the problem was time. I was so much into work that I forgot to have a life. Well it definitely helped me to come out my silly stupid probably seventeenth break up but I got too much into it and was missing the small joys of life.

So I decided to take a break from work life and get some life out there. I asked my friends, girl friends to plan for a trip together, some outing but no one was available like me. Out of this frustrating randomness, one day while taking a walk in the evening I booked a ticket for GOA. I did not even know what am I going to do there, but I just wanted to chill ALONE.

It was  just the beginning of winter, although Mumbaikars don't really know what winter is but something like that.

I packed my bag, with all the favourite florescent color clothes, the shorts, the colorful …  the junks. That's it !

Finally the trip starts… full of excitement and fun. It was an overnight trip, as I booked bus tickets instead train or flight to enjoy every bit of the trip.

So the journey began… at around 9.45pm the bus stopped for dinner somewhere on the way. I got down, and ordered some masala dosa and coffee. Well also I must that I did not have a hot co-passenger in the bus, so it was quite boring. But I had music. All the people had their food at the restaurant and then bus started to Goa again at around 10.30 pm. I was super excited to experience the ghats on the way but, it was cloudy and also rained at a few places so the excitement was more for a safe trip than watching the views outside the window.

It was middle of night sometime like 1o’clock I guess I fell asleep and woke up at a sudden jerk of the bus. I was too much into sleep so did not even realise what happened and slept off again  then after an hour or so I saw everyone is getting down from the bus so I did the same.

I realised for last 2.5 hrs. The bus was at the same place due some break down and will not move unless help comes from nearest village of Goa. The phone battery was too low, but managed to find out that Goa is atleat 300 kms away from wherever I was stuck.

I loved the place where the bus broke down, it was a narrow road covered by trees from both side, mild fog,chirping birds. I was taking a walk around and was totally in love with the unknown, peaceful, gorgeous unknown village. I clicked a lot of selfies, photos of the place but then after a while realised from the conversation of the driver and other passengers that there is no way to get any help for at least 3-4 hrs. So even if someone comes to help it will minumum take 6-7 hrs to reach Goa.

Unplanned trip was becoming more interesting with time. I did not know what to do, neither I wanted to wait there. So I started walking on the beautiful road hoping for a lift from someone. Soon after that I noticed a few college kids also were in search of some help. After a little while I saw a truck, but he did not stop. This rejection quite hurtful at that point of time. But finally a truck stopped. Oh what a joyyyy!!

Me along with those college kids boarded the truck.We were 5 and hardly had space to sit. So me being me decided to sit hanging my legs from the truck facing the left side. It was pretty cold, the day was just starting, sun was yet to be visible properly… the wind was cold but above all the experience was priceless.

The truckwala gave us lift till some closest city and advised to take a cab from there. He was such a sweetheart that for such a priceless help he asked for only 25 bucks from each of us. We gave some more in total and thanked him.

Now it was time for the next level of the game… traveling the remaining distance. In that unknown village found a few innovas parked and needless to say there were charging bombs. I bought the ticket Goa at 1000 and the cab asked for some 3000. We were stuck but after much negotiations he agreed at 2500/- and were 5 decided to contribute 500 per head.

The journey was amazing and the feel of going Goa is just something else. Probably people who love Goa can relate to this well. After almost 2 hours or more we reached the border of Goa…

It was just amazing. I had spoken to a friend of mine who arranged for a bike and room at a middle class cost. I was happy to find the place, it was cute, small and best part was I was free… on a holiday …

I took a quick shower, got ready and went for a ride to the beach… Calangute.. Wowww such a feeling. This is priceless.. Waiting for the sun to set in the sea with a bottle of beer, a smoke and some seafood.

After this lovely sunset, went back to hotel and planned to get some rest because the big party was planned for the night. Everything was as planned… i met my friend who was taking me around and was also supposed to find me a guy. We both chatted had some drinks together and then headed to one of the most happening pubs in Goa.

There was great music, fun crowd and his chick too… We were dancing, partying like crazy… I was having a gala time. I have no idea how many shots did I take. Towards the end of the party I remember drinking from everyone’s glass. Oh damn…. Was that me?? Yes it was the “happy me”.

That night I realised for a long long time I stopped living life. I was just breathing and counting days. But that holiday came like a splash of water, it woke me up and made me realise what am I missing in life.

After so many heart breaks, difficulties of life I closed myself into a shell and did not realise it but this one trip got me back to life. It was a super awesome holiday and will remain always close to my heart. So what are you waiting for… live life :)

Khunjchhi Jibon